Hello Sweet friends,
Have you ever found yourself in a corner where there was nothing else you could do about your situation? You were worn out, exhausted, Plan A didn’t work out so you decided to use all of the letters of the alphabet until Plan Z left you wanting too. Unfortunately this is the point where we usually turn to God…how much easier would it be for Him to be our Plan A?
This year has been beautiful, but with beauty often comes pain. I have found myself in a season of dependence on my Father. I have had no choice but to depend on him for my every need. In one month I’ll be married to the love of my life and moving to a new city, new job and new life. Lots of changes for this girl! This year has been tough, I’ve spent more of my engagement away from my fiance’ than with him, I’ve moved back home gaining a 30 minute commute to work everyday, and wedding planning is one of the best and worst things I’ve ever done. It’s in the season of not being able to control my situation that God has done far above what we could have imagined. I am learning to “let go”. I tend to hold onto the things until my knuckles are white, afraid to relinquish control and ask for help. This season of my life was no different until I recently realized that holding onto things was limiting what God could do.
Blake and I were talking the other day, about how sometimes we limit God. We pray for certain things, or we wait until we have no option than to depend on Him. Basically we depend on God until we no longer have to. Only to find ourselves in a vicious cycle of depending on Him until everything is good again, only to find ourselves in a situation needing to depend on Him again. Around and around we go, never seeming to realize what we are doing. God is willing to do so much more than just get us to Point B. I feel like we limit what He can do in our lives by allowing Him to get us back to being “Okay” when in reality if we hold on He’s willing to carry us into even greater things.
I have learned during this season of dependence that if things had gone our way we would have missed out some BIG things. If we had settled for “okay” sure things would have worked out, but not in the way that they have. God has supplied for our wedding, relationship and future life together in ways that we could have never predicted, my prayers would have only limited what He was capable of. Sure, I might have gotten what I wanted…but sometimes our wants are so small compared to what God wants for us. It has not been easy by any means, and I have resisted, I have doubted, and I have tried to figure things out on my own. But as I have found myself backed into a corner, with no where to look but up, God has moved.
In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps. // Proverbs 16:9
Do not settle with being just “okay”. Let go, and trust that God knows best. If you find yourself in a season of dependence I just wanna tell you that it’s okay to get down, it’s okay to feel drained. It’s even okay to doubt, God just wants you to be honest with him. What kind of relationship would it be if you only talked to Him about the good stuff? There is this stigma about God that we can not tell Him how we really feel, like He’s sitting in heaven with lightening bolts waiting for us to question Him so He can sling one at us. Tell God how you really feel, tell Him that you are tired, frustrated, even angry, etc. He already knows it, but it’s that honesty and dependence on Him that brings you closer together. (If you are not in a season of dependence, sorry sweetheart, but you’re either coming out of it or going into it. So go ahead and prepare for it, make God your Plan A…it’ll save you a lot of trouble. Trust us!)
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters. // Psalm 23:1-2
God, take control of our lives. Help us to depend wholly and solely on You in every aspect of our lives. Your will be done, not mine. Forgive us Lord for trying to control what you have so graciously given us.